Readers ask, VICE answers. This time you will read about anal sex, sex toys and limits in relationships

IF YOU WANT TO EXPERIMENT WITH SEX TOYS TO MAKE YOUR SEX LIFE MORE INTERESTING, YOU DON’T NECESSARILY NEED TO INVEST MONEY IN THE FIRST PHASE. YOU CAN, FOR EXAMPLE, USE A TIE TO DO A BIT OF BONDAGE OR AN EYE MASK AS A BLINDFOLD. PHOTO BY DAINIS GRAVERIS VIA PEXELS

The answers below were provided by Kitty Rea, intimacy coach and founder of Influx, the first alternative sex positive space.

“I’m a man and I like anal sex. I don’t like men, so how can I get my girlfriend to do this to me? I have so far convinced her to accept that I like to dress sexy in feminine extras. Is there a fisting club or something like that?”

I never get tired of answering hundreds of such questions with the same answer: you can’t convince anyone to want something they don’t want. If your partner, for whatever reason, doesn’t want to try anal sex as the provider, you can’t convince her.

What you can do is help her better understand your need and this sexual activity so she can make an informed decision. If she has more context, that will help her get a better perspective. But it is in no way a guarantee that he will want to have anal sex with you afterwards. 

The most useful tool for you is not the hygiene or aesthetics of anal sex, although these details can help. The best tool is vulnerability. That’s why you can ask yourself why you want anal sex so much. Is it physical pleasure? Is it a form of privacy? Is it an emotional need? Is it a kink that psychologically helps you experience things that you cannot experience through other forms of intimacy? All of these answers are correct and valid, and once you figure out which one applies to you, you can start the conversation. 

It helps to start this conversation honestly and very vulnerably, directed at you as a couple. This can look something like: “I care a lot about you and our sexuality is very important to me. I trust you and that’s why I have the courage to discuss this topic with you. I would really like to try something new for us.”

This kind of discussion, where your partner understands what’s important to you in anal sex and how it can help you as a couple, is something that can help her be more open to giving anal sex. But I assure you that it will not be successful if you simply take her to a fisting club or go there without her, especially if you are in a monogamous relationship.

Not only is there nothing that specific here, but it’s also a huge leap from “I’d like to try something completely new with my partner who might be reluctant” to “fisting orgy.” When we introduce practices us, especially when they are something that the partner might not initiate, it is essential to start with small steps. 

If she feels forced or simply “used” for a pleasure that is only yours, it is very possible that she will reject it or accept it with great reluctance and a lot of judgment. And no one should have to experience their sexuality like that. 

“Statistically, the best sex is when there are no feelings or obligations. Am I right?”

It’s kind … more

From ‘Pink Flamingos’ to ‘Stranger by the Lake’, see a real history of sex on screen.

There have always been rumors about the 1981 remake of The Postman Always Rings Twice . Rumors that eventually became a myth: that one of the sex scenes in the film – in which Jack Nicholson and Jessica Lange make out in the kitchen – was not faked. That the two actors simply had sex in front of the camera. Postman isn’t the only film to be talked about this way; the 1973 horror classic Don’t Look Now had a similar response, and the sex scene between Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie became the subject of controversy. 

Some mainstream films – which are not pornographic – have gone further than Postman and Don’t Look Now , and contain real, not simulated, sex. And with Bruce LaBruce ‘s new film from New Queer Cinema, The Visitor (a remake of Pasolini’s Theorem , which contains actual sex), now is the perfect time to look at the feature films that chose to go all out.

John Walters’ work is the ideal starting point for any list of films that push the boundaries of good taste, something that Pink Flamingos, the director’s most infamous film, is filled to the brim with. Whether it’s Divine’s final act of eating dog shit, or the hard-to-watch sequence with the chicken, Pink Flamingos is full of things that shock precisely because they’re real.

And as if all that wasn’t enough, the film also contains unsimulated incestuous oral sex. Divine and Crackers are so turned on by the chaos they cause at their rivals’ house that mother and son end up taking their relationship to another level. Pink Flamingos will always live up to its own description: “An exercise in bad taste.”

Worlds away from John Walters when it comes to ideas of good or bad taste, In the Realms of the Senses exists at the intersection of erotica and arthouse films. It tells the story of an affair between a sex worker who becomes a hotel maid and her employer. 

With explicit sex and shocking moments of intimacy, the film was censored and banned upon release, and questions such as “Is it pornography?” – and all the baggage that question comes with – still lingers.

Time was kind to In the Realms of the Senses, though . From strong reviews to its release through The Criterion Collection—a distribution company that emphasizes important films, both classic and contemporary— Realm makes it clear that unsimulated sex isn’t just there to shock, and that even the most explicit films still have artistic relevance.

Lars Von Trier is no stranger to controversy these days , but his early work shows that the director has always been provocative, and the dark comedy The Idiots proves that there’s nothing he won’t do. 

The Idiots was somehow made according to the rules of Dogme 95, a creative manifesto dreamed up by Von Trier and director Thomas Vinterberg. Dogme was a kind of radical minimalism, one that refused to indulge in special effects or post-production alterations. And it was through this framework that Von Trier built The Idiots , the story of adults trying to shed their inhibitions by releasing their “inner idiot.” 

Controversial for more than its moments of unrequited sex, The Idiots also asks questions about what it means to represent disability on screen; questions that are more important than ever to answer now.

As sexually honest as it is politically … more

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, dating habits have evolved significantly. The dating landscape has become more diverse, empowering women to take charge of their romantic lives. As we explore the dating habits of modern women, it’s crucial to acknowledge the individuality and agency that each woman possesses. In this article, we’ll delve into the various dating approaches and preferences that pretty ladies embrace in their pursuit of love and connection.

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Exploring Different Dating Styles

Every woman has her unique approach to dating. Some pretty ladies prefer traditional dating, enjoying the excitement of getting to know someone gradually. Others embrace casual dating, exploring multiple connections while keeping things lighthearted. Many modern women also embrace online dating platforms, recognizing them as valuable tools to meet potential partners. Each style allows women to navigate the dating scene according to their preferences and desires.

Prioritizing Emotional Connection

While physical attraction is undoubtedly important, pretty ladies understand that a genuine emotional connection forms the foundation of a fulfilling relationship. They value deep conversations, shared values, and mutual understanding. These women prioritize partners who can connect with them on an emotional level, fostering trust, and promoting a healthy and lasting bond.

Empowering Sexual Agency

Women today are reclaiming their sexual agency, embracing their desires, and making choices that feel right for them. Pretty ladies prioritize open and honest communication about their sexual needs and boundaries, ensuring that their desires are respected by their partners. They understand the importance of sexual compatibility and seek relationships that celebrate their sexual empowerment.

Embracing Diversity and Inclusivity

Modern women embrace the richness of diversity in the dating world. Pretty ladies celebrate different cultures, backgrounds, and identities. They are open to exploring relationships outside their own ethnic or cultural boundaries, recognizing the potential for personal growth and broadened perspectives. These women prioritize respect, empathy, and inclusivity in their dating experiences.

Nurturing Self-Love and Boundaries

Self-love and healthy boundaries are essential aspects of modern dating for pretty ladies. They prioritize their well-being and understand that setting boundaries is not only acceptable but necessary. By nurturing self-love, these women attract partners who appreciate and respect their boundaries, creating a foundation of trust and mutual respect.

The dating habits of pretty ladies reflect the evolving landscape of modern relationships. These women embrace independence, diverse dating styles, emotional connection, sexual agency, and inclusivity. They prioritize self-love, personal growth, and healthy boundaries. As we celebrate the diverse dating habits of modern women, let’s continue to recognize and respect the agency and individuality that each woman brings to her romantic journey.… more

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